I Am Not Toxic, I Just Have Toxic Traits

MmMmMm … Self-reflecting over some years has been an eye opening for me. I mean … I accepted that I do suffer from some toxic, generational shit. Traits ! If you will .But at this point in life, it is solely on ME. I didn't ask to be here, but I am now. So now what? Well … it's time to slowing clean up on the inside. I guess ? It's like I really REALLY want to, be at times I feel unmotivated. Y'ALL IT IS HARD TO MOVIATE YOU at times. So let's reflect on when it all started, where it left you to feel and NOW as an adult what traits stand out the most.


Everything Started With Mom & Dad

Kay. I know. Not everyone has / had their parents in their lives. You might of had others to help you develop as a person HUMAN. But no one on earth can say that they got to where they got on their own. Ya ASS had some help, whether it was helpful or not. Still a lonely feeling. But the point NOW... is that it all falls on you. Yeah we all learnt and develop habits and traits that we might be embarrassed to admit. Alrite, my page suppose I'll go first. I am emotional unavailable person. Why ? you may ask or even if you didn't ? Shit … like I know ! I mean okay okay I just think I am still in denial just a little bit tho. Naw I'm not in denial. But who openly admits to a toxic trait. It really be some shit having to turn in and look at yourself in the mirror. Anybody ever made a split list in there head as to where you got some habits or traits from? I got this from oooo and yea my ooo is like that. I am like that because of oooo. And think WTF!? First thing first : Look inwards I got it, pull out some traits/habits whatever you call them and work on them Kay, and then change is suppose to happen right ? Y'all still with me ? Am I tripping ? I think that's how it suppose to go. Do you always see the light at the end of the road ?

I'm Feeling Like Ehh

So we know where it all started but it still left me to feel some type of way. I choose not to talk so deeply about this cause we all no it can go even deeper. But THAT'S ONLY IF YOU WANT ! Anybody feel like these traits / habits whatever you want t call them are ENGRAVED into you. I know it can change, we as humans can change and grow and blah blah I'm just saying. Doesn't it feel like it is apart of your makeup ? well I mean it is to some degree. You don't get to choose the whatever you want to call them that is in you. Only thing you get to choose now is whether you enjoy the feeling of being toxic or if your simply over it. Toxic. that word just screams draining to me. It is draining carrying all those emotions and thoughts. What toxic person/s have you had to exit your life ? Don't hit me with the That's still your BLAH BLAH or you'll never have another BLAH BLAH.


Stand Up !

When was the last time you called yourself out ? Annnd I mean really called yourself out!? Your like OOooooo I love me some ME but WTF have I been doing. Cause BABBYYY sometimes I sit back and look through newsfeeds through other social sites and see all these " cute toxic couple" videos. Shit look so controlling to me. To me it just shows some insecurities that had to start back childhood. Now wait a sec . That shit do be looking cute sometimes tho. But all that yelling, screaming, "You Cant Do Because I Said So", "No Your Only Friend Is Me". Toxic ! straight up ! Idk that shit just not cute to me just entertaining for the moment. Common traits I have notice as of lately are wanting to be in control of another person, guilting, manipulation … I can go on but I wont. What have you been seeing ?


1.How many bridges have you burnt? Do you even care that it is burnt?

2. When was the last time you called yourself out ?

3. When did that AHHH HA moment come in ? when you released that you are a it toxic.